The Love Dare – I Dare You
10/21/2009

We are now into week three of the “Love Dare.” This is when the task moves from the simple to the complex. This is the week when expectations are either being met or we are failing the task. What is needed to push through the struggle and arrive on the other side more complete?

The Love Dare material reminds us that all marriages move from season to season. We move from:

  • Romance – that period of warm mushy feelings that caused you do crazy things for each other
  • Reality – more time together causes you to realize that there are two of you and not one of you and now you can’t just say “good night” and walk away
  • Resentment – real and perceived problems are easily blamed on one another and anything but the “us” seems to be the answer

The final season of marriage is Rebuilding. If this season is not accomplished, the outcome of the season of resentment is the long winter of disillusionment that leads to the destructive ritual of divorce. The ritual of divorce hurts not only for the moment but into the generations, leaving a lack of trust and commitment in its passing. The season of rebuilding is not easy but it leads to a new season of romance.

I see the season of rebuilding to be like a hot summer’s day. If the day is spent on the roof of the house working, it does not seem to be a good day. But if the same hot day is spent on the beach, that same sun becomes a pleasure. So is the season of rebuilding. There are moments of hard work combined with great fun. The steps of rebuilding include:

  • Remember – Do you remember all the great times together? Do you remember why the two of you began this journey together in the first place?
  • Ask – Ask for forgiveness. Saying and meaning that we are sorry is a hard task. It seems that when we know we are wrong it makes it even harder to say, “I am sorry.”
  • Deciding – Everything finally rests with the answer to one simple question, “What are you going to do about it?” After all the thought and prayer you might put into your marriage you finally have to put love into action. Love is a verb.

I see this as a repeatable cycle throughout the life of a marriage. Ideally, the cold days of resentment are shortened over the years and the spring days of romance become more of the norm. But the reality is, all growing marriages are moving through the seasons and in some strange way each season may be needed to institute ongoing growth.

I dare you to love your spouse. I double dog dare you.

 

Your servant,

Bro. Jim

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